


Insufferable

by KinuNishimura



Category: Zanki Zero: Last Beginning
Genre: Gen, chapter 7 spoilers, dad jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 19:07:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18597574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KinuNishimura/pseuds/KinuNishimura
Summary: Unfortunately, Dr. Ichiyo gets to discuss coitus with his father, a very mature and reasonable adult.





	Insufferable

**Author's Note:**

> i really just wanted to write some of this shitty memer

Doctor Mamoru Ichiyo is getting close to officially being middle aged, and he hasn't been spending the time how he thought he would for roughly fifteen years now. He does important work and oversees things at his hospital, yes, that's normal for a doctor, but then fifteen years ago he stole most of his little sister's corpse, and now he's currently essentially the parent of a girl who is an exact biological clone of said little sister, but are clearly different people, and it's eating at him.

Somehow, this particular madcap insanity is only the second strangest thing in Mamoru's life. Mamoru, who takes the time as much as he can to consider the love of things, has to sit there and think about what the best adjective is to describe his father, the erstwhile, star-studded Doctor Daichi Terashima.

“Maybe German,” he murmurs to himself, a medical textbook over his face. There are as many languages under the sun as there are people, and words to those languages, well, the number was uncountable, but German did have that reputation for having oddly specific words. Like that one... What was it? That Sachika was fascinated by for a little... 'Fahrvergnügen', that was it. That was a word that most decidedly did not describe Daichi Terashima.

Being left with his adjectives was about all Mamoru could do in the loveless moments before a conversation with father dearest. Ah, the transmission was coming on, so he'd have to find something soon. Perhaps an English adjective would suffice for the moment...

“Yoo-hoo, wakey wakey, Mamoru!” The voice of the mad doctor rings out past Mamoru's medical journal. “It's poor form to be asleep at a time like this.”

Insufferable. That was good for now. Daichi Terashima was an absolutely insufferable man.

“Have a little love,” Mamoru croaks, and removes the journal from his face. “I'm exhausted.”

“Hi, exhausted.” Dr. Terashima's ahoge twitches. Wait- “I'm Dad!” The groan that comes out of Mamoru evidently amuses Dr. Terashima quite a bit. “Speaking of, before we get down to business, how's the parenting gig working out for you?”

“The same as it was the last time you asked me that question.” Mamoru replies. “She's a touch socially stunted, but she's a bright, engaging child. Everyone around the hospital loves her, patient and staff alike.”

“ _Eeeeeveryone?_ ” Dr. Terashima asks, sparkles in his eyes. Mamoru knows what he's curious to hear.

“Yes,” Mamoru replies, a serious look right back, “ _everyone._ ”

“Well, that's lovely for her, but you know, Mamoru, you're not going to be a child forever.” Dr. Terashima says, with one of those obnoxious fingerpoints of his. The fact that Mamoru had not been a child for multiple decades now always seemed to be something his father liked to ignore. “Maybe it's about time you start thinking about dating or something, since you're not all that talented.”

“...You're taking an interest in my love life?” Mamoru has to raise his eyebrow.

“Trust me, Daddy's got game. He knows what he's talking about.” Dr. Terashima smirks. “Maybe you inherited some of that charisma from me, even.” Mamoru wants to scoff and snort about the idea of Daichi Terashima having 'game', but the fact remains that at least two women have had children with him. “Give it a shot, make things livelier around there for your dear sweet sister! Walk up to someone you find sexy and say, 'Do you enjoy intercourse?' and bam, an older sister for sweet Sachika!”

“Bwh-?!” Mamoru rapidly exhales, thrown off game.

“Or brother, I suppose, another older brother, I shouldn't assume.” Dr. Terashima shrugs.

“I- _Dad?!_ ” Mamoru stands up and throws his arms out.

“ _Mamoru?!_ ” Dr. Terashima mimics the gesture mockingly.

“ _ **What?!**_ ” Mamoru sputters. He's dearly glad Sachika isn't in the room right now.

“Excuse me?” Dr. Terashima raises his eyebrow. “Why, it's the twenty-first century, Mamoru, throw away those stuffy ideals. Men can do men and women can do women, hell, men can be women and women can be men! It's a crazy world we live in, you should get with the times. Say,” he mutters, “that's an angle for X Key advertising I haven't considered...”

“That is-” Mamoru has to take a second to run his hand through his hair. “Don't pretend like that's the issue here!”

“Oh, so you _are_ gay?” Dr. Terashima snorts. Well, that one intern did look awfully nice in scrubs- "Congratulations, my boy! Go get some!"

“What sort of line is 'Do you enjoy intercourse?!'” Mamoru grimaces. His voice is getting awfully loud, and with every second he becomes more and more paranoid that Sachika will have somehow found her way to the fifth floor and decided to listen in to his private conversation with his father, which she is expressly not supposed to do and she tends to follow that order but the _paranoia is there_.

“It worked just the other day, I'll have you know.” With a smug, self-satisfied look on his face, Dr. Terashima puts his hands on his hips. “A solid lay with an attractive European babe, my boy! Worked a little... Terashimagic.”

Likely a scientist who works around MANI, then. Perhaps that recent assistant of his- Olga, was her name, the one who looks like she really just wants to die every time she has to kiss his ass? Whoever it was, Mamoru's heart goes out to whatever poor soul felt the need to perform coitus with Daichi Terashima to advance her career. “I'll...” Mamoru sighs. “I'll... take that into consideration. Thank you.”

“Wow, Mamoru, you almost sounded like you meant it!” Dr. Terashima cackles.

Roughly an hour later, Mamoru staggers out of his office, having gone from exhausted to walking dead over the course of a single conversation with the good doctor. Perhaps as he's falling asleep, he can think about adjectives more.

“Dr. Makoto! Dr. Makoto!” As he's on the third floor, oh. There's Sachika, running up. She looks happy. Isn't it late? She's holding... something. Something fairly large. “Look, look! Sachika built a compass!”

Mamoru does his best to smile. “That's wonderful, Sachika, but-” He grits his teeth and sighs. Nope. He's already sputtering. “I just got off the phone with my father. Sachika, can you do me a favor?” She looks eager to please. Good. Mamoru kneels down to put his hands on her shoulders. “Don't grow up to be anything like him. Be as unlike him as you possibly can. For my sake.”

As he leaves, Mamoru is sure that Sachika is just more confused than ever now. A small part of him tells her to join the crowd.


End file.
